by Simbulele Jezile | Aug 30, 2024 | Campaign, Resource Hub
Grief is a complex emotional response to loss, often associated with the death of a loved one, but it can also arise from other significant life changes. The process of grieving is deeply personal, varying greatly from one person to another. Understanding grief, how to handle it, and how to support others through it can make a significant difference in navigating this challenging experience.
What is Grief?
Grief is an intense emotional experience that encompasses a range of feelings such as sadness, anger, guilt, and even relief. It’s not a single emotion but rather a process that unfolds over time, often in stages. These stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—aren’t linear, and not everyone experiences all of them.
How to Process Grief
Processing grief involves allowing yourself to feel the emotions without judgement. It’s important to find healthy outlets for your grief, whether through talking with trusted friends or family, engaging in creative expression, or seeking professional help. Here are some approaches that may help:
- Talk About Your Feelings: Sharing your emotions with someone you trust can lighten the burden. It could be a friend, family member, or a professional counsellor.
- Seek Professional Help: Grief counselling or therapy can provide you with tools to navigate your feelings and work through your grief in a healthy way. Organisations like South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) offer free counselling services that can be incredibly beneficial during this time.
- Take Care of Yourself: Ensure you’re eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in gentle physical activity. Taking care of your physical health can also help you manage emotional stress.
How to Support Someone Through Grief
Supporting someone in grief involves offering a listening ear and being present without trying to “fix” their pain. It’s about acknowledging their loss and offering comfort in ways that respect their grieving process.
- Listen and Be Present: Sometimes, just being there and listening is the most supportive thing you can do. Avoid giving advice unless asked; instead, offer a listening ear.
- Offer Practical Help: Grief can make even simple tasks feel overwhelming. Offering to help with everyday tasks, such as cooking or errands, can be a significant relief.
- Suggest Resources: Encourage them to seek support from professional organisations, such as LifeLine South Africa or Hospice South Africa, which provide counselling and support services for those dealing with loss.
Running a “In Loving Memory” Campaign on BackaBuddy
Honouring a loved one’s memory through a crowdfunding campaign can be a meaningful way to channel grief into action. BackaBuddy allows you to create a campaign in memory of someone, raising funds for causes they cared about or that reflect their passions and values. This not only preserves their legacy but also brings together a community of supporters who share in your loss and want to contribute positively.
How to Create a Campaign:
- Sign Up: Visit BackaBuddy and create an account.
- Choose a Cause: Decide on a cause that reflects your loved one’s passions or values.
- Tell Their Story: Share what made your loved one special and why this cause is meaningful. Include photos, videos, and updates to keep supporters engaged.
- Share Widely: Use social media, email, and word of mouth to spread the word about your campaign.
Additional Resources for Grief Support
Link to Articles About Grief
For those looking to delve deeper into understanding and processing grief, here are some insightful articles:
- Coping with Loss: Navigating the Journey Through Grief
This article offers practical strategies and compassionate guidance for navigating the journey of grief and finding healing. Read More
- How to Be There for Someone Who’s Grieving
This article provides practical tips and guidance on how to support a grieving friend or family member with compassion and understanding. Read More
- The Five Stages of Grief Explained
This article offers a clear explanation of the five stages of grief and how they might manifest differently for each individual. Read More
Apps for Grief Support
In today’s digital age, several apps can offer comfort, resources, and community support for those grieving:
- GriefWorks – An app that offers daily tips, journaling prompts, and guided meditations designed to help you process grief at your own pace.
- My Grief Angels – This app connects you with others going through similar experiences, offering peer support and resources.
Mindfulness for Grief – Focuses on mindfulness practices specifically tailored for those grieving, helping you find peace in difficult times.
Free Resources for Grief Support in South Africa
Accessing support during grief is crucial, and there are several resources in South Africa that can provide help at no cost:
- SADAG: Offers free counselling services and support groups for those dealing with grief and other mental health challenges.
- LifeLine South Africa: Provides a 24-hour crisis helpline and counselling services for individuals dealing with grief and other crises.
- Hospice South Africa: Offers palliative care and bereavement support services across the country, helping families navigate the complexities of loss.
These organisations can provide valuable support, whether you’re seeking help for yourself or looking to support someone else through their grief.
For more information on creating a memorial campaign, visit BackaBuddy.
by Sanusha Shamdutt | Aug 14, 2024 | Campaign, Featured
On the night of July 28th, life for the Engelbrecht family was forever changed. Baby Ellané, a vibrant 21-month-old toddler, suffered third-degree burns that covered 16% of her tiny body, including her face, neck, and head. What started as a routine evening of preparing tea for her and her twin quickly turned into a nightmare when she accidentally pulled a jug of hot tea over herself.
Her mother, Irene Engelbrecht, recalls the terrifying moment: “I jumped up to find that my daughter had climbed onto the kitchen counter and pulled the hot jug of tea over her head and face. I immediately jumped up to help my husband get her out of the tea, undress her, and rushed to the bathroom to put her under cold water.” she tells The Citizen
Despite the family’s swift response, Ellané’s injuries were severe. Her eyes were swollen, blisters formed, and the pain was excruciating. Without medical aid, Irene and her husband, Christof, rushed their precious daughter to the nearest hospital. The family was faced with the harsh reality of immediate payments for Ellané’s urgent care, a cost they couldn’t afford. But in their darkest hour, an angel—someone who didn’t even know them—stepped in to cover the expenses.
“We are deeply grateful and will repay the rest,” Irene shared.
Ellané spent ten days in the hospital before being transferred to Kalafong Hospital in Pretoria West, where she continues her recovery in the paediatric surgical ward. One of her eyes has opened, but the other remains swollen. The family anxiously awaits more news on potential damage once it opens.
The Engelbrecht family is now faced with the ongoing challenge of covering Ellané’s extensive medical expenses, setting a goal of R100 000 on their BackaBuddy page where they have raised just over R20 000 with the help of 46 amazing donors.
Irene, with grace and humility, has expressed the family’s deep need for further support during this difficult time. The journey to recovery is long, and the financial burden is overwhelming.
Support Ellané’s Campaign here: https://www.backabuddy.co.za/campaign/angels-for-ellan
SOURCE: The Citizen
by Sanusha Shamdutt | Aug 6, 2024 | Campaign, Featured
Nicela Naudé, affectionately known as Nikki, is a 10-year-old, grade 4 student at Riverside College in Cape Town. She entered the world under the shadow of abandonment. Born from an unwanted pregnancy 2014, her biological mother chose not to see her or even learn whether she had given birth to a boy or girl. Left alone at Groote Schuur Hospital state hospital, Nikki faced a bleak future, compounded by her diagnosis of Klippel-Trenaunay-Weber Syndrome. This rare condition, affecting just 1 in 100,000 people, caused severe lymphatic and vascular malformations on the left side of her body. Tumours weighing up to 1 kg grew on her chest, and her left arm and hand were deformed. Her life expectancy was heartbreakingly estimated to be only four months.
Pictured above: 10-year-old Nicela Naudé
But Nikki’s story was destined for a miraculous turn. Jacques (51) and Madelaine Naudé (52) , two dedicated officers in the South African Police Service in Elsies River and Bothasig respectively, learned about Nikki through a mutual friend, 60-year-old Karin Noonan. Without hesitation, they began the adoption process, driven by a profound desire to provide her with a loving home. They didn’t have much, but they promised to share whatever they had with Nikki. They envisioned a life filled with siblings, pets, princess parties, and endless love.
Pictured above: Nicela with mum, Madelaine Naudé, and dad, Jacques Naudé
‘It was heartbreaking to see a fragile little girl lay there with big eyes and knowing she has nothing in life. A mother who didn’t want her and a life threatening disease. She was beautiful and we loved her instantly. When we heard that no-one was prepared to adopt her because of her short life expectancy we decided that we can give her a chance in life with a loving family for as long as she has to live. We had nothing to lose but so much to gain by loving this precious child that God had gifted us’ says mum Madelaine
On March 16, 2024, Nicela celebrated her tenth birthday. She is now a beautiful, spontaneous, and happy little girl who adores dogs and make-up. Despite undergoing eight complex debulking surgeries, which aim to improve her quality of life, her condition remains incurable. The surgeries have become increasingly dangerous as the affected tissue has infiltrated her muscles and nerves. Future surgeries risk leaving her without the use of her hand.
‘Nicela is a vibrant, beautiful little girl who is raised with buckets full of love and confidence. She is top of her class at school and loves her school concerts where she has been leading lady for the past 2 years. She is loving and kind and shows empathy for others. She always wants to help people, even from a very young age. She also intends on opening an animal shelter when she is older’ dad Jacques tells us
Pictured above: Nicela Naudé
However, hope has emerged. Nicela has been referred to vascular surgeon, Dr Laura Redman, at the Christiaan Barnard Memorial Hospital, who will take over her treatment from Professor Frank Graewe. A promising procedure called sclerotherapy will be attempted. This procedure involves injecting 90% alcohol into the affected areas to shrink the tumours, which have now started forming bones. She has also been prescribed a chemotherapy drug, Sirolimus, to aid in the treatment. Her arm and hand are heavy, causing her lower arm to bend and appear shorter than her right arm. Nicela will need to undergo this procedure for the next six months, costing R71,000 per month, with medication adding another R4,000 per month. Unfortunately, their medical aid does not recognize her condition, covering only a fraction of the expenses.
‘Nicela is flourishing under the care of Dr Laura Redman. She is currently undergoing sclerotherapy once a month under anaesthesia as it is a very painful procedure with 90% alcohol injections into the tumours to help shrink and hopefully slow the growing process. It is all still very traumatising with all the blood tests, x-rays, several debulking surgeries and now the sclerotherapy. A total of 21 surgeries.’ explains Madelaine
Despite the financial strain, Jacques and Madelaine are determined to give Nikki the best life possible. They have taken out a second bond on their home to cover the costs, with their medical aid only covering R12,000 out of R140,000 in medical expenses. Yet, the results are encouraging. Nicela has already undergone two procedures and shown significant improvement. She feels beautiful and is excited about the possibility of looking “normal” one day. She has even vowed not to cry anymore when blood is drawn, understanding it is part of her journey to getting better.
Pictured above: Nicela with her brother Rick Naudé
‘Nicela’s sclerotherapy is a very costly procedure and her medical aid only covers a fraction of the cost. We have tried to get gap cover but unfortunately they do not cover pre-existing conditions. A procedure is R71 000 at a time. Nicela is also prescribed chemo medication to help keep the tumours at bay at a monthly cost of R3900 which the medical aid does not cover because it does not fall under their prescribed medical benefits. The donation that we receive will go towards all of Nicela’s medical expenses’ says Jacques
Now, they need your help. This courageous family should not have to halt treatment due to financial constraints. To help alleviate the financial strain that they are facing the family has started a BackaBuddy crowdfunding campaign where they have already raised over R100 000 with the help of 190 incredible donors.
‘To the donors, you are absolutely amazing. Showing that there is indeed still kindness and empathy in this world. Nicela knows about your donations and always says “that’s so nice of them, please say thank you for me.” You are improving the quality of life for a little girl you have no relation to and that takes a special kind of person. We are endlessly grateful for your generosity’ the couple explains
by Simbulele Jezile | Aug 5, 2024 | Campaign, Featured
Nomfundo Matlala, a compassionate 39-year-old marketing and strategy professional from Cape Town, South Africa, is on a heartfelt mission of healing and empathy after her second myomectomy. Inspired by her own journey battling fibroids and the stark lack of resources available to women facing similar struggles, Nomfundo helped launch Supporting Stellar Women, a charitable initiative aimed at empowering underprivileged women in the workplace.
Nomfundo’s own journey with fibroids began in early 2016 when she first experienced discomfort in her uterus. Reluctance to seek medical attention due to work commitments led to escalating pain until she explored alternative options in 2018. It wasn’t until 2023, with the support of her partner and friends, that she found Dr. Catherine Elliott, whose compassionate approach to treatment proved pivotal in her recovery.
“In early 2016, I first felt the discomfort in my uterus, but I hesitated to seek medical attention due to work commitments. I was focused on maintaining high performance at work. By 2018, the pain became unbearable, leading me to consult a non-invasive specialist. Unfortunately, the recommended treatment was more invasive than anticipated, prompting me to seek alternatives. In 2023, I noticed the re-growth of my fibroids during the winter months, causing discomfort once again. With the support of my partner and her sister, I found Dr. Catherine Elliott, who provided compassionate care, considering both my physical and mental health throughout my recovery.” Nomfundo shared, reflecting on her journey.
Image caption: Nomfundo Matlala
Empowering Others Through Supporting Stellar Women:
With her profound understanding of the physical and emotional toll of such conditions, Nomfundo became determined to make a difference. She has helped launch an initiative, Supporting Stellar Women, which not only provides financial assistance for medical procedures but also prioritizes the emotional well-being of the women it supports. Partnering with a medical profession, Dr. Elliott’s clinic will ensure these women receive personalized care and support throughout their journey to recovery.
“Dr. Catherine Elliott and her clinic prioritized my emotional well-being, collaborated with me on treatment plans, and ensured I was well-informed every step of the way. Their compassionate approach was pivotal in my successful recovery”, Nomfundo shared.
Among the beneficiaries of Supporting Stellar Women is Ms. Soko, a courageous woman who prefers to remain anonymous. For eight years, Ms. Soko has dedicated herself to her work in a bustling Cape Town dining establishment, managing her section in the hectic kitchen. However, behind her unwavering dedication lies a silent struggle.
Ms. Soko’s relentless work hours, combined with the stress and physical strain of her job, exacerbated an existing fibroid condition, leading to the growth of a massive 40cm tumor. Despite her dedication, the tumor has taken its toll on her health, leaving her organs compressed and her energy depleted.
When sharing how she met Ms Soko, Nomfundo shares: “Her ex-boss is now a close friend of mine who was a great support structure during my operation. She was constantly listening and understanding to learn about the condition. This gave her enough reason to connect Ms Soko and myself to see if she was open to sharing with a woman that looked like her, and understood her journey.”
Crowdfunding on BackaBuddy
Moved by Ms. Soko’s story, Nomfundo wasted no time in extending a helping hand.
Through Supporting Stellar Women, Nomfundo initiated a crowdfunding campaign on BackaBuddy to raise funds for Ms. Soko’s urgent surgery and post-operative care. Since its launch in February 2024, the campaign has received an overwhelming response, with over 10 generous donors contributing to over R67,000 towards the fundraising target of R233,250.
Image caption: Nomfundo Matlala
The funds generated through the BackaBuddy campaign for Ms. Soko’s case will cover all medical costs, including preoperative diagnostics, surgery, and post-operative care.
“We have partnered with Dr. Elliott’s office and the Be Bold Trust to ensure transparency and accountability in the distribution of funds. All medical costs are covered, including diagnostics, prescriptions, and aftercare.”
Continued support for women like Ms. Soko includes a six-month medical fund for check-ups and medication.
“We express our gratitude by continuing to campaign for Ms. Soko’s journey and inspiring more women to prioritize wellness. Giving up is not an option, and we believe this campaign will encourage diligence in self-care.”
All donors are eligible for a Section 18A tax certificate issued by Supporting Stellar Women, a project initiated by The Be Bold Trust IT000516/2014 PB0/930058757 NP0183869 Trustees: C I Maisel, M. Magiet, C. Grove.
To support Ms. Soko and women like her, visit the Supporting Stellar Women BackaBuddy campaign link here:
Expanding Reach and Impact:
Beyond individual cases like Ms. Soko’s, Supporting Stellar Women aims to support female business owners and raise awareness about conditions like fibroids. Proactive collaboration with patients and employers underscores their commitment to long-term wellness. The initiative also provides guidance and support for women hesitant to seek help for similar health challenges, advocating for proactive healthcare and community involvement.
by Sanusha Shamdutt | Jul 30, 2024 | Campaign, Featured
In November 2023, 31-year-old Chané Coetzee received a life-altering diagnosis: Lymphoepithelial Carcinoma of the Lung. This rare form of cancer has only been diagnosed twice before in South Africa, as far as her doctors can confirm. The diagnosis has turned Chané’s world upside down, and her journey has been arduous.
Chané has bravely faced the physical and emotional challenges of her diagnosis, but the financial strain has been equally daunting. Her extensive hospital stays and treatments have led to mounting medical bills. Yet, in this dark time, the kindness and support from her community have shone brightly. Through the generosity of many, over R59 000 has been raised through Chané’s BackaBuddy crowdfunding campaign, easing some of her financial burdens.
What has truly left Chané in awe is a new community effort that speaks volumes about the power of unity and compassion. “Some wonderful members of the community have come together to arrange a fundraiser drive for me in the form of an event called The Breath of Hope Fest which will be taking place on the 24th of August 2024 at the KHOSA Sports Club in Krugersdorp. We will have live musos, a market, kiddies entertainment and fun for the whole family!” Chané told Good Things Guy.
The Breath of Hope Fest promises a joyous occasion for all ages, filled with music, laughter, and community spirit. This meaningful event supports cancer treatment funding, with every ticket sold directly contributing to Chané’s medical expenses. By attending, you transform a day of fun into a powerful force for good.
Chané continues to share updates about her cancer battle on her Facebook page, where supporters can follow along, offer words of encouragement, and stay informed about her journey.
SOURCE & IMAGE CREDITS: Good Things Guy
by Sanusha Shamdutt | Jul 30, 2024 | Campaign, Featured
When a plea for help is made, people respond with kindness and generosity, ensuring no one is left alone. This sense of community has never been more apparent than in the touching story of baby Hayden.
Hayden was born prematurely at 32 weeks, and his arrival was accompanied by numerous difficulties.
His mother, Jess, went into early labour, and despite the hospital’s best efforts to postpone his birth and administer steroids to help his lungs develop, Hayden had to be delivered via emergency C-section at midnight on Sunday 21 July. Although born early, Hayden received immediate and hopeful care at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) at Wilgeheuwel Hospital, Roodepoort.
Although Hayden was born healthy, his premature birth required specialised care, presenting an enormous challenge for his parents, Jess and Dylan.
Their health insurance only covered R75,000, which was barely enough for a two-night stay in the NICU. The hospital, unfortunately, could not accept a payment plan and required the funds upfront. Transferring Hayden to a government hospital was risky and uncertain, as no local facilities had the necessary space or equipment.
While Jess dealt with her own health issues, including two blood transfusions and medication to prevent blood clots, the urgency to secure the best care for Hayden intensified. The family’s immediate goal was to keep Hayden in Wilgeheuwel for at least two weeks, hoping to find a longer-term solution by then. The cost? A staggering R570,000.
This is where the community’s magic came into play. South Africans from all walks of life came together for the cause. In just five days, they raised over R200 000 of the R570 000 goal through the family’s BackaBuddy campaign.
This outpouring of generosity beautifully illustrates the “it takes a village” concept. Every donation, prayer, and share of Hayden’s story has been a lifeline, bringing his family closer to their goal and giving Hayden the best chance at a healthy future.
Jess and Dylan are deeply thankful for the support they have received so far. “Each contribution, no matter the size, is a step towards ensuring Hayden’s health and future. We are so thankful to each and every person who has donated, said a prayer, or shared his story. We remain hopeful and encouraged by the kindness shown by so many” the couple told Good Things Guy.
SOURCE: Good Things Guy
